Everyone ready to waste their time? Good.

*IMPORTANT STUFF AT THE BOTTOM.
**Moar updates.

One time, a man went to a vocabulary clinic for a week. When he came back, he had learned a new five-letter word. When he gets home, he says, "Honey, I learned a new five-letter word!" The wife says, "What's the word?" He tells it to his wife, who divorces him.

Then he calls his mom and tells her what happened. He says to his mom, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told it to my wife who divorced me. His mom says, "Well, what's the word, sweetie? He told her, then she disowned him.

Then he starts walking around the city at midnight. A cop pulls up next to him and asks him what's wrong. The man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me and my mom who disowned me." The cop says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells him the word, then the cop throws him in jail.

It turns out the warden is the man's best friend. He asks him why he's in here, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, and a cop who threw me in jail." The warden says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells the warden, who throws him out the window into the sea.

A sailor catches him and drags him onboard. He asks the man why he's swimming in the lake so late at night, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, and a warden who threw me in a sea. The sailor says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells the sailor, who throws him back out to sea.

He washes up on the shore of an Indian tribe. The Indians ask he what happened, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, a warden who threw me into a sea, and a sailor who threw me overboard." The Indians ask, "What was the five-letter word?" He tells them the word, and they say, "Go see our chief and tell him your story."

He goes into the chief's tent, and the chief asks him what he wants. The man said, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, a warden who threw me into a sea, a sailor who threw me overboard, and a few Indians who told me to come to you." The chief says, "What was the five-letter word?" He tells him the word, and the chief says, "Write the five-letter word down, put it in a bottle, and throw it out to sea."

If you're wondering what the word was, I haven't found the bottle yet.

...

*Okay, since a lot of people obviously want to know what the word is, we'll turn it into a game. Guess the word, you get a special prize from me. Well, not really. I'll just PM you if you got it right. I won't say if you got it right or wrong in a reply, if I reply at all. I'll PM you and tell you that you got it right (if you get it right). All you know is that it's a five-letter word. Go!

I've also decided to include a Box of Failure. Here I will put the names of people who have guesses incorrectly, along with the word they guessed.

BOX OF FAILURE
Sk8erGirl14 - Bitch
AnVillain - Goatc
VinnyXY - He didn't actually suggest a word, he just fails.
Ghyfty - Satan, penis, bitch, Jesus
Used-Tampon - OHSHI
SpontaneousPudding - Sorry
FurryDemon - Owned
Lizzardis - Whore
DM692 - Shits, penis, ducts, whore, poont, angst
xenonmonkey - IWRYB
FwankFwank - Throw
Calcos - Cheat

Also, don't PM me with your attempted answer. A few people have. Just post your answer in the comments if you think you have it.

**I'm surprised nobody has gotten this yet. It's really simple, actually. Read the entire thing very carefully. Very. Carefully.