Being disappointed at Assassin's Creed's lack of trophies, I decided to make a bunch up myself. I'm not done, nowhere near done, but this is what I have so far. I got the idea from (and also posted these in) a thread in the VG forum.
STATUS: Incomplete

And away we go.

Name: Wings of an Eagle
How to get: Perform a Leap of Faith 50 times
Type: Bronze

Name: Jack of All Trades
How to get: Perform all fighting techniques once in training
Type: Bronze

Name: Right in the Eyes
How to get: Kill 15 guards using throwing knives
Type: Bronze

Name: Someone's Gotta Notice
How to get: Kill 30 guards using throwing knives
Type: Bronze

Name: Where'd My Archers Go?
How to get: Kill 60 guards using throwing knives
Type: Silver

Name: Where Are You Getting All These Knives?!
How to get: Kill 120 guards using throwing knives
Type: Silver

Name: Amateur Flag Runner
How to get: Collect all Flags in Masyaf
Type: Bronze

Name: Getting Better
How to get: Collect all flags in Damascus
Type: Silver

Name: Roof Hopper
How to get: Collect all flags in Jerusalem
Type: Silver

Name: Yes, All Three
How to get: Collect all flags of all type in Acre
Type: Silver

Name: I've Been Here Before
How to get: Collect all flags in the Kingdom
Type: Gold

Name: Only Took a Year
How to get: Collect all flags in Assassin's Creed
Type: Gold

Name: Cartographer
How to get: Scale all the View Points in the Kingdom
Type: Bronze

Name: Master Cartographer
How to get: Scale all the View Points in Assassin's Creed
Type: Silver

Name: Just Taking Care of Business
How to get: Eliminate all the Templars
Type: Gold

Name: Just Clearing a Path
How to get: Kill 500 guards in any fashion
Type: Silver

Name: Now THAT'S Stealth
How to get: Assassinate 100 guards
Type: Silver

Name: Errand Boy
How to get: Complete a mission for a fellow assassin
Type: Bronze

Name: My First Time
How to get: Complete one assassination mission
Type: Bronze

Name: Three Down, Six to Go
How to get: Complete three assassination missions
Type: Bronze

Name: Aren't I Special?
How to get: Complete six assassination missions
Type: Silver

Name: A True Assassin
How to get: Complete all nine assassination missions
Type: Gold

Name: The Greater Good
How to get: Complete Assassin's Creed
Type: Gold

Name: People's Republic
How to get: Complete all secondary missions in Damascus
Type: Bronze

Name: Supporter of the Church:
How to get: Complete all secondary missions in Acre
Type: Bronze

Name: Not Another Holy War
How to get: Complete all secondary missions in Jerusalem
Type: Bronze

Name: Am I Done Yet?
How to get: Complete all secondary missions in Assassin's Creed
Type: Silver

Name: Marathon Runner
How to get: Get from one city to another without using a horse
Type: Silver

Name: Show Me the Way
How to get: Get from one city to another, praying the entire time
Type: Gold

Name: Shadow Walker
How to get: Get from one city to another without arousing suspicion
Type: Silver

Name: Ghost Walker
How to get: Go in a clockwise circle around a city, visiting all three districts, without arousing suspicion
Type: Bronze

Name: Let Me Check My Email
How to get: Read every document on all three computers in the Abstergo office
Type: Silver

Name: Fisticuffs!
How to get: Get into a fist brawl with at least five thugs and emerge victorious
Type: Silver

Name: What Goes Around...
How to get: During a fist brawl, cause a thug to punch a spectating guard
Type: Silver

Name: In Good Company
How to get: Escape from the guards using civilians as cover
Type: Bronze

Name: Can't Touch This
How to get: Fight at least ten guards at once and emerge victorious without taking any damage
Type: Silver

Name: Are You a Ghost?
How to get: Fight at least 25 guards at once and emerge victorious without taking any damage
Type: Gold

Name: Silver Feather
How to get: Perform 10 counter kills and 10 combo kills in one fight without taking any damage
Type: Gold

Name: You Clever Dog
How to get: Pickpocket at least 200 thugs
Type: Silver

Name: Vapor Blade
How to get: Kill three guards in one fight by knocking them into water using your sword
Type: Bronze

Name: Trail of Cowardice
How to get: Win a fight by causing the remaining guards to run
Type: Bronze

Name: Never Gonna Give You Up
How to get: Chase down and kill a guard after he runs from a fight
Type: Bronze

Name: I Didn't See Anything
How to get: Kill five guards in one fight using the hidden blade
Type: Bronze

Name: Silent But Deadly
How to get: Kill ten guards in one fight using the hidden blade
Type: Silver

Name: Convoy Intercept
How to get: Kill a traveling band of guards in the Kingdom
Type: Bronze

Name: No Mercy!
How to get: Kill a traveling band of guards in the Kingdom without letting any guards escape
Type: Silver

Name: Quick Stepper
How to get: Defeat Al-Mualim without taking damage
Type: Gold

Name: Leader of the Free World
How to get: Complete all primary and secondary objectives in Assassin's Creed
Type: Gold

Name: Paragon of Humanity
How to get: Eliminate a target while upholding all three Tenets
Type: Gold

Name: Scourge of Humanity
How to get: Eliminate a target while breaking all three Tenets
Type: Gold

Updated: 10/25/09 9:06 PM 3 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

So, I was on Omegle today, and I found somebody who really needs to learn that internet arguing always results in failure, regardless of the topic at hand.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: he
Stranger: hey*
You: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
Stranger: do you have autism
Stranger: faggot
You: You've got to be kidding me. I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense.
Stranger: seriously dude meet me in town or something
You: Hmm...
Stranger: i wanna beat your face in for that
You: Are you sure?
You: Beating people up because they have more intelligents than you is bad.
Stranger: yea thats why you spelled INTELLIGENCE WRONG DUMB FAGGOT now im comin to your house you better call 911 ahead of time
Stranger: faggot
You: Yeah, okay. I'll be waiting with my .45.
You: You're just jellyous of my superior intelligents.
Stranger: yea ok tough guy, i swear dog, il blow your brains out you dont even know me dog
You: You seem like an internet tough guy.
You: AE hates people like you.
Stranger: yea i seem like the internet tough guy thats about to come blow your brains out faggot,
You: Do you even know what a .45 is?
Stranger: yea its a gun idiot my little sister has a .45
You: Your little sister?
You: Is that even legal?
Stranger: yea i sent her for me, so shes gonna kill you, is that alright
You: So know you're too chickenshit to do it yourself?
You: now*
Stranger: ok dog i was just kiddin but im dead serious now, you better be ready, you better get your boys cuz im goin all out
Stranger: faggot
You: You're dead now?
You: Okay, you did my job for me.
Stranger: i said serious i said, are you retarded seriously, dude come meet me in town, at 5 o clock, think im kiddin,
Stranger: faggot
Stranger: you got a small penis, dont you
You: Are you some type of thirteen year old boy who's using his parents' computer and thinks his Xbawks is a first gen?
You: You're the type of people that make PSN unenjoyable.
Stranger: you know what, whats your number dog
You: So, was my prediction right?
Stranger: yea exactly, so whats your number, you scared of a little 13 year old
Stranger: whos got a bigger cock than you
Stranger: faggot
Stranger: and got a better girl
Stranger: and got you r mom
You: So you admit to being a thirteen year old?
Stranger: il keep goin faggot
Stranger: yea, and are yo gonna admit gettin your butt whooped when im done
Stranger: faggot
Stranger: im 16
You: At least I can type correctly.
Stranger: what did i type wrong, cuz whatever it is tell yo gurl cuz shes the one who taught me
Stranger: while i was bangin her
You: Ha, funny, I don't have a girlfriend.
Stranger: hahahhaha thats what i thought, just checkin, lonely faggot, are you still a virgin, cuz you gotta get laid dude
Stranger: peace

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Everyone ready to waste their time? Good.

*IMPORTANT STUFF AT THE BOTTOM.
**Moar updates.

One time, a man went to a vocabulary clinic for a week. When he came back, he had learned a new five-letter word. When he gets home, he says, "Honey, I learned a new five-letter word!" The wife says, "What's the word?" He tells it to his wife, who divorces him.

Then he calls his mom and tells her what happened. He says to his mom, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told it to my wife who divorced me. His mom says, "Well, what's the word, sweetie? He told her, then she disowned him.

Then he starts walking around the city at midnight. A cop pulls up next to him and asks him what's wrong. The man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me and my mom who disowned me." The cop says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells him the word, then the cop throws him in jail.

It turns out the warden is the man's best friend. He asks him why he's in here, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, and a cop who threw me in jail." The warden says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells the warden, who throws him out the window into the sea.

A sailor catches him and drags him onboard. He asks the man why he's swimming in the lake so late at night, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, and a warden who threw me in a sea. The sailor says, "What's the five-letter word?" He tells the sailor, who throws him back out to sea.

He washes up on the shore of an Indian tribe. The Indians ask he what happened, and the man says, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, a warden who threw me into a sea, and a sailor who threw me overboard." The Indians ask, "What was the five-letter word?" He tells them the word, and they say, "Go see our chief and tell him your story."

He goes into the chief's tent, and the chief asks him what he wants. The man said, "I learned a new five-letter word, and I told my wife who divorced me, my mom who disowned me, a cop who arrested me, a warden who threw me into a sea, a sailor who threw me overboard, and a few Indians who told me to come to you." The chief says, "What was the five-letter word?" He tells him the word, and the chief says, "Write the five-letter word down, put it in a bottle, and throw it out to sea."

If you're wondering what the word was, I haven't found the bottle yet.

...

*Okay, since a lot of people obviously want to know what the word is, we'll turn it into a game. Guess the word, you get a special prize from me. Well, not really. I'll just tell you if you got it right. I won't say if you got it right or wrong in a reply, if I reply at all. I'll tell you in a response that you got it right (if you get it right). All you know is that it's a five-letter word. Go!

I've also decided to include a Box of Failure. Here I will put the names of people who have guesses incorrectly, along with the word they guessed.

BOX OF FAILURE
Sk8erGirl14 - Bitch
AnVillain - Goatc
VinnyXY - He didn't actually suggest a word, he just fails.
Ghyfty - Satan, penis, bitch, Jesus
Used-Tampon - OHSHI
SpontaneousPudding - Sorry
FurryDemon - Owned
Lizzardis - Whore
DM692 - Shits, penis, ducts, whore, poont, angst
xenonmonkey - IWRYB
FwankFwank - Throw
Calcos - Cheat
NummyBBQ - N****r
SpiffyMasta - Horse
EmoPinata - The Word (7 letters, lolwut.)
b1naryguy - Guess, Hadoken

**I'm surprised nobody has gotten this yet. It's really simple, actually. Read the entire thing very carefully. Very. Carefully.

Updated: 11/27/09 11:55 AM 32 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!

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Updated: 11/21/09 5:57 PM 79 comments | Log in to comment! | Share this!